Is It True That Grief Is Love with Nowhere to Go?

When we experience grief, it can send us into a spiral of overwhelm. When we aren’t used to holding space for ourselves, it can be hard to know how to process the emotions we are feeling. Emotions are simply energy-in-motion. No emotion is bad; we all experience them every day, and they are supposed to be felt. But often, instead of feeling our emotions and allowing them to flow through us, we bury them deep inside, not knowing how to handle them. The emotions associated with grief can take us by surprise, and we simply don’t know where to channel those feelings. 

On the topic of grief, writer Jamie Anderson is quoted as saying, “Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give – but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”

It eloquently sums up his interpretation of grief, but is it true that grief and love are so interconnected? Read on to learn more about this quote, the wisdom behind it, and how you can learn to move through the feeling of grief.

What is grief? 

Grief is our natural emotional response to the pain of loss. You might experience it after the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or another life change that leaves you with a sense of sadness and emptiness. It is a very personal experience for each of us, and one that there is no simple path. Grief can strike out of the blue, knocking us for six and leaving us overwhelmed with a wave of sadness and emotional pain. There is often no definitive timescale as to how long it might take us to process and overcome grief, it is simply a process that we must allow for however long it takes. The grieving process presents many challenges and emotional distress, but it can also be a healing process that can offer us many transformative experiences, helping us to grow spiritually.

What does grief feel like? 

Grief can feel different for every person. How we experience grief will depend on the nature of the loss and how well we tend to process our emotions. The emotions it brings can be strong and overwhelming or feel like an intense sadness that just won’t shift. A person might feel disconnected, isolated, or even hold feelings of guilt around the loss they have experienced. It can feel hugely difficult to talk about these feelings. Grief can affect every part of our spiritual being, especially when we try to hide it away and pretend that everything is ok. When we don’t allow ourselves to feel what we are feeling, it can even begin to manifest physically in our bodies. Without understanding, we may never associate our physical symptoms with the grief we are holding onto. 

What does the quote mean?

For something that feels so empty, it can be hard to put a definition on grief. So this quote works well to give grief a meaning that helps us to recognise what it is we are feeling. When we are experiencing loss, it means this was something that we cared about, something we loved. The feeling of love and the emotions it stirs up within us do not simply go away. They are not fleeting; they remain with us, stuck and without anywhere to go. Anderson perfectly defines the physical feeling of grief and the importance of befriending those emotions that sit within you so that you can process them in the healthiest way.

Overcoming grief

There isn’t a simple process for overcoming grief. We cannot control the process, so we must meet grief where it finds us and hold space for our feelings. It’s important to acknowledge the pain that you feel and accept that it may bring all sorts of unexpected emotions. It won’t look like someone else’s process, it will be individual to you, so try not to judge your own healing journey. There are ways that you can support yourself, both physically and emotionally. A walk in nature, taking a moment to breathe, journalling, and anything else that you find joyful, will give you the space you need to release any tension and take heed of your thoughts.

Getting support during the grieving process

Grief brings a huge set of emotions to deal with alone, so it can be helpful to reach out for support, either from people you are close to or an expert who can hold space for what you are going through. Spiritual coaching is especially good for guiding you through the process of grief. Working with a spiritual coach will not only help to strengthen you physically and emotionally, but it will support you in reconnecting to your inner power and finding your centre in the midst of waves of grief. 

Get in touch today to find out how we can support the whole of you and to book your free 30 minute consultation.